Apocalyptic Wingnuts At It Again

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Not gonna happen
The end-of-the-worlders are again predicting the immanent destruction of the planet. This time it will happen on 22-23 September, 2015. You might recall the world ended in 2000, 2003, 2009, 2012 and again in 2013. So this is what it looks like after the end…

The latest wingnut theory is that an asteroid will land in the Caribbean that month, swamping Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic. It will create 300-foot tsunami waves up to the east coast of the USA. Florida will be completely inundated. As you might expect, the source of this fantasy is a religious wingnut:

Efrain Rodriguez a musician and a prophet for 41 years. A sound testimony’s brother .He belongs to the Iglesia de Dios Pentecostal, MI,(International Movement) a faithful and the first and oldest Pentecostal church in Puerto Rico

And the religious wingnuts* tie it all in with the zany Book of Revelations and the imaginary “Rapture” that has somehow avoided arriving for the last two millennia.  But, of course, you can buy their book or video, to get the whole picture (ka-ching!). Might as well spend your money on them now, since you’re about to die in a few months… or not…

One suspects these halfwits misread the NASA report on a hypothetical asteroid strike that was presented to a world conference last April, and decided it was real. Or maybe, being the paranoid conspiracy believers they are, they thought is was a clever ruse to cover up a looming reality.

“The Lord is leading us to the Day of Atonement Sept 23rd in 2015,” cries one half-baked site:

And just at the right moment, with the world now begging for a solution, the evil world ruler to be, will fly down to earth in a spaceship and come onto the scene to “solve” the world’s problems. Ironically hardly anyone realizes that he was the one that was behind causing all these horrific problems on the earth in the first place. And thus the world will readily bow down to him and make him the ruler of the world. No one can buy or sell without his mark, which many take and are then dammed to Hell. Welcome to the NEW WORLD ORDER—satan’s trap has closed its jaws.

But then the original writer of this piffle, apparently either drunk or drugged, updated his predictions to this bit of madness, littered with the usual online detritus (amusingly, the writer uses movies and TV dramas as the basis of some of his ‘facts’, clearly unaware what the word fiction means), including a kitchen-sink-full of conspiracies: CERN, Jade Helm, the NWO, the UN, the Pope, rock and roll, numerology, a Super Bowl TV commercial and a few other bits of paranoid or pseudoscience wackiness thrown in:

The Hoover dam is supposed to be destroyed as part of an antichrist birthing ritual that may involve CERN as indicated by this quote; “Vishnu/Shiva dances in the waters of the Hoover Dam on that Big Day. The bomb made by CERN in Switzerland is dropped into the waters!”

As one of the other wingnut self-proclaimed ‘prophets’ wrote:

I personally came to this date of September 24, 2015, as the start of the “days of darkness” using only the Bible. I came to this conclusion 3 ½ MONTHS before this public announcement was made by the foreign minister of France in a press conference at the White House with John Kerry by his side. I am not the only person whom the Lord has been leading to the Day of Atonement in 2015 – there are many others as well.

Here’s an even wilder statement (and in pretty tortured grammar) from a site that headlines the post, “URGENT!!! An asteroid will hit the earth on September 24, 2015!!!” I wonder if they couldn’t have fit just a few more exclamation marks into that… and of course, it’s based on some wonky neo-Christian biblical interpretation:

The governments of the world know that a very large asteroid will hit the earth on September 24, 2015, and they have publicly announced it already through the French foreign minister Laurent Fabius on May 13, 2014. They will attempt to nuke this asteroid, which will break it into smaller pieces that will reign down all over the earth causing massive destruction. There will still be a very huge chunk of this asteroid that will hit (most likely in the Atlantic Ocean). They believe this is the fulfillment of the 6th seal of Revelation that starts the “Day of the Lord”, the final day of Daniel’s 70th week, which will last for one year. Before the 6th seal opens, the first 5 seals will begin to open in 2015, including world war, economic collapse, famine and plague. They believe that the book of Revelation was written as a roadmap for them to follow to usher in their “New World Order”. They need to have martial law in place, as well as give the United Nations much more control before September 24, 2015, so that when this event takes place, they can maintain control and power over the people after the asteroid hits. World War III will begin in 2015 and a peace treaty will come into effect in September 2015, right before this event takes place, as a fulfillment of the prophecy, “For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction comes upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape.” 1 Thessalonians 5:3

Notice the writer cleverly slipping the New World Order conspiracy into the loony eschatological prophecy… nyuck, nyuck, nyuck… I was surprised it didn’t mention Bigfoot and reptiloids. Fortunately for the rest of us, it ain’t gonna happen.

As it says on IFLScience:

…some of the world’s finest stargazers at NASA had the forethought to look for this killer asteroid. In fact, monitoring the paths of asteroids is quite high up on their agenda. If an asteroid threatens to collide with Earth, they’re quite invested in stopping it.

A NASA spokesman said: “NASA knows of no asteroid or comet currently on a collision course with Earth, so the probability of a major collision is quite small. In fact, as best as we can tell, no large object is likely to strike the Earth any time in the next several hundred years.”

And then there are all those loonies who thing the CERN supercollider is opening the gates of hell and its logo is a secret 666… that’s something for another post because the look into this codswallop will fill many more pages.

It’s never a dull week when these wingnuts come out of their basements to make predictions and statements. But as for the predicted apocalypse in September: it’s just a bunch of daft folks trying to get your attention and your money. Pay them no mind.

~~~~~
* The Daily Mail and Huffington Post politely but erroneously call them “biblical theorists” which is akin to calling creationists “evolutionary theorists.” They are wingnuts – let’s not give them any more credit than is due.

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