{"id":15803,"date":"2016-01-02T07:49:00","date_gmt":"2016-01-02T12:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ianchadwick.com\/blog\/?p=15803"},"modified":"2021-05-15T07:44:59","modified_gmt":"2021-05-15T11:44:59","slug":"will-you-still-need-me-will-you-still-feed-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ianchadwick.com\/blog\/will-you-still-need-me-will-you-still-feed-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Will You Still Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<p id=\"pvc_stats_15803\" class=\"pvc_stats all  \" data-element-id=\"15803\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewBox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveAspectRatio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/ianchadwick.com\/blog\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif\" border=0 \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/gumbootsgirl.com\/ukulele-when-im-sixty-four\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright\" src=\"http:\/\/gumbootsgirl.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/10\/When-Im-64.png\" alt=\"When I'm 64 on the uke\" width=\"250\" \/><\/a><strong>Turning 64, as in <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/When_I%27m_Sixty-Four\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the 1967 Beatles&#8217; song<\/a>, once seemed so distant<\/strong> that it it was as remote as flying cars and jet packs. By the time I reached that age, I thought, we&#8217;d have a moon base colony, orbiting hotels as in <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/2001:_A_Space_Odyssey\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">2001, A Space Odyssey<\/a>, and were reaching out to the planets. Maybe even a base on Mars by\u00a0then<\/p>\n<p>None of which had happened, of course, by the time I reached the magical age in the song, and even today it looks remote. But back then, in the late Sixties, the years ahead seemed so full of potential and excitement that anything was possible. What dreams we had. Too bad our politicians didn&#8217;t share them.<\/p>\n<p>I always wondered, hearing the song, why the singer\u00a0was afraid that his partner, his lover, would abandon him. &#8220;Will you still need me\/Will you still feed me\/When I&#8217;m 64?&#8221; Was she about to toss him into the street, replace him with a new model (insert your favourite Donald Trump-trophy wife quip here&#8230;)?<\/p>\n<p>Sixty four passed me without any such concern.<\/p>\n<p>To be honest, I never thought I&#8217;d even reach that age. When you&#8217;re 17, you can&#8217;t imagine being almost 50 years older. Any more than I can today imagine being 30 years older and doddering about in my nineties. An age to which I fully expect to reach if for no other reason that it may take me that long to finally read all of Ulysses.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s funny, you know, how age plays tricks on our minds: I don&#8217;t think of myself as old. I still listen to the Beatles and music of the Sixties. I still play those songs\u00a0on my instruments, too. My body has other notions, however, and the growing number of creaky joints, arthritic twinges and inexplicable aches suggests that my mind hasn&#8217;t quite caught up to the reality of time.<\/p>\n<p>When I count the years in between life&#8217;s major events, I wonder where they went. How did a young guy like me end up in this old frame? Wasn&#8217;t I riding motorcycles and playing rock and roll guitar in a local bar until two a.m. only yesterday? Wasn&#8217;t I the guy wading in the Arctic water, hiking the sun-parched\u00a0highland hills of Mexico, or driving through the Negev? Who&#8217;s the old guy looking out of the mirror at me? And\u00a0what has he done with my real self?<\/p>\n<p>Sunrise, Sunset&#8230;swiftly fly the days. The song sticks in my brain a lot these days. I don&#8217;t remember growing old&#8230; One season following another, laden with happiness and tears.<\/p>\n<p>I met Susan at the tail end of 1982, a day before New Year&#8217;s Eve. In a Toronto bar; an Irish pub I&#8217;d frequented on and off because they were one of the few that offered\u00a0Guinness on tap. I wasn&#8217;t seeing anyone seriously then. A few dates, a movie, maybe dinner; nothing more. I dined alone that night, then went to the nearby pub for a quick after-dinner drink, not expecting to meet anyone.<\/p>\n<p>I was wrong. I ended up staying many hours talking with this lovely, wonderful woman I met. We planned to meet again after the New Year. I had no idea it would be a lifetime event.<\/p>\n<p>Thirty three years ago it was, and we&#8217;ve been together ever since; more than half my life spent with one person. And never once did I question whether she would need me, feed me, when I got to my current age.\u00a0Never once did I not see us growing old together.<\/p>\n<p>I wondered, a few times, if she would kill me, however. Metaphorically, of course, since she&#8217;s not a violent person. But I do test her limits, at times. Well, a lot of times. Her control and patience are\u00a0nothing short of miraculous. We&#8217;ve had our ups and downs, as couples do.<\/p>\n<p>I am always surprised she has for so many years tolerated me and my erratic passions as I lurch from obsession to obsession.<\/p>\n<p>Susan\u00a0has put up with the house full of foster pets (many dogs and cats, both at the same time), the pack of ferrets, the insatiable book buying that continues even today, the wargaming, the politics and the vandalism and harassment it brought, the weekend jam sessions that ran into the small hours, the motorcycles &#8211; at least one new one every year, the guitars and keyboards filling all available space, the ukuleles that followed them, the more recent pasta and bread obsessions, the hot tub I had to get, the all-night computer gaming sessions, and the years doing freelance work that took me all over.<\/p>\n<p>She puts up with me even now, old\u00a0and\u00a0cranky as I&#8217;ve become. And I marvel at that, most days. She puts up with the piles of books that stand in front of the heavily-overladen bookshelves. She puts up with the dogs and cats and the ukuleles and the spindly plants I insist on growing from avocado pits. She suffers my occasional snoring, my liking for olives and hot sauces with every dish, my organic approach to tool storage and my boxes of historical papers stored in the basement.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s quite wonderful to think I might spend another 33 years with her.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<p id=\"pvc_stats_15803\" class=\"pvc_stats all  \" data-element-id=\"15803\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewBox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveAspectRatio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/ianchadwick.com\/blog\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif\" border=0 \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<p>Turning 64, as in the 1967 Beatles&#8217; song, once seemed so distant that it it was as remote as flying cars and jet packs. By the time I reached that age, I thought, we&#8217;d have a moon base colony, orbiting hotels as in 2001, A Space Odyssey, and were reaching out to the planets. Maybe even a base on Mars by\u00a0then None of which had happened, of course, by the time I reached the magical age in the song, and even today it looks remote. But back then, in the late Sixties, the years ahead seemed so full of potential \u2026&#8230;&#8230; click below for more \u2193<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[9],"tags":[287,291,617],"class_list":["post-15803","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal-reminiscences","tag-aging","tag-future","tag-mortality"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":5942,"today_views":0},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ianchadwick.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15803","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ianchadwick.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ianchadwick.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ianchadwick.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ianchadwick.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15803"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/ianchadwick.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15803\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26149,"href":"https:\/\/ianchadwick.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15803\/revisions\/26149"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ianchadwick.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15803"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ianchadwick.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15803"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ianchadwick.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15803"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}