I have an old man’s legs. I was looking at my still-swollen leg where the surgery had taken place, and where the skin has been smoothed out by the swelling. It looked years younger. And then at my other leg with its bony shin, knobbly knee, and crinkly alligator skin. An old man’s leg, for sure. And soon enough, my operated leg will deflate back to that aged state. I suppose at 75 I should not be surprised to look my age, at least in the legs. And then there’s that old guy looking at me in the mirror. A wrinklie! How did I get here? Where did the last 50 years vanish to? How did I get old so suddenly?
“Increasing years, of course, render us invisible,” wrote author Deborah Moggach in her terrific novel from 2004, These Foolish Things, “as if in preparation for our eventual disappearance.” You might know the novel by the name it took later, after the 2011 movie made from it: The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. It remains one of the most beautiful, moving films I’ve seen. If you have not seen it, please do so: you are missing a wonderful experience. But I digress… *
I don’t know when the leg will return to normal size. It’s shrunken quite a bit since my surgery, and I can get my left foot into most of my shoes now, although some with only thin socks; but there are tight bands around both my ankle and knee that make it difficult to bend and stretch. Some days it feels like I have even stronger iron bands around the knee. All the exercises, all the self-massaging, don’t seem to change that tightness. Time, I suppose, is likely the key. And maybe some more icing.
Saturday: We did a 1.2km walk this morning, but it became too hot for Bella by afternoon, so we only managed about 200m before she had to return home. I did a 12-minute and a 15-minute bicycle session, and 8 minutes before bed, too. I tried to do more lunges in between exercise sessions, in the hope that it speeds up the bending of my knee, although my knee seems more tender now as a result. And after I’ve sat for a while, getting upright again can be a bit shaky until I get my knee settled and moving.
I am now more than five weeks past my surgery. Progress seems to creep ahead in millimetres right now. There have been in the past weeks none of those big milestones I experienced some weeks back when I moved from the walker to the cane. I have no accurate way to measure my progress, of course, but that’s how it feels. I keep at the exercises, regardless. I can get around without the cane in the house better now, but I like to keep it close most of the time. At night, when I get up to pee, I need a few seconds to get my knee aligned and strong, and the cane is certainly necessary to help steady me.
Doomscrolling: The dictator in cognitive decline, Trump, escalated his unprecedented, arbitrarily authoritarian sending of the military into US cities. He directed his DUI hire, the massively incompetent pseudo-Christian Secretary of Defence, Pete Hegseth, “to provide all necessary Troops to protect war-ravaged Portland,” although Portland is a peaceful, quiet city, and nothing remotely close to “war-ravaged.” He’s not “protecting” anything, of course: he’s declaring war on Portland and his political opponents. The deranged, conspiracy-addled dictator in cognitive decline added, “I am also authorizing Full Force, if necessary.” That’s “full force” against law-abiding American citizens whose crime, in his eyes, has only been to protest neo-Nazi (Trump-supporting) gangs when they came to town. Trump is planning to incite violence in a Democrat-controlled city using an armed, military assault. The USA is in full fascist mode, run by a corrupt, grifting criminal. Every morning when I wake up and turn on the news, I hope to hear his obituary. Something cholesterol-related, I think, would be appropriate.
Sunday: 12 minutes on the bike this morning, 15 at noon, 8 at bedtime; 600m walk, plus a stroll downtown. I weighed myself again: a little under 155 lb. Sleep remains fitful, but I’m getting more each time, even if not much more.
Downtown there were many people riding their bicycles on the sidewalk during a busy Artcrawl event; several adults including one man on a wide, three-wheeled electric bike, and some groups of kids riding three or four abreast. This is a danger to pedestrians, but, of course, our bylaw officers don’t stop them, not least because they don’t work weekends, so people can do what they want without restrictions. People complain about cyclists on the busy sidewalks but the town just waves its hands and ignores the problem.
Monday: Took our newest cat, Camy, to the vet this morning to get her paw examined again, and boosters for her vaccinations. She seems on the mend and, despite her angst over the trip, recovered fine once she was home. Took Bella to Canadian Tire this afternoon when we went to pick up more bird seed. She loves to go there because the cashiers have dog treats.
Started with a 15-minute pedal and morning exercises, and did another 15 minutes after lunch with my second set of exercises. And a third session of 13 minutes just before dinner. I can go upstairs — slowly — using my normal gait (right-left-right-left-foot) rather than the one step at a time method I’ve been using since surgery, as long as I can put some weight on the cane. Without the cane, though, I still go upstairs one step at a time. I can’t go downstairs yet with alternate feet because I can’t take the pressure on the unsupported left knee yet, even with the cane.
Tuesday: Did my exercises first thing in the morning, including a 15-minute bike session. Had physio at 10, and did more exercises there, including a new one with pulleys, and an 8-minute bike session. My progress is now 102° with 106° pushed, so I have progressed a little since last week. The pulley exercise should help tighten that bend more, but it is hard to replicate at home: just using a strap to pull on my operated leg while I lie on my stomach. Physio was more intense today and I was a bit stiff and sore after it. But no matter, I have to keep going.**
And after lunch, I did another 15-minute bicycle session and we walked Bella about 900m-1km. As a substitute for the pulleys, I lay on our bed with my strap wrapped around my ankle. Laying on my stomach isn’t easy: it hurts my lower back a bit, but I managed to do it . Not easy, but it works reasonably well. I did a final bike session of 12 minutes around 4 p.m. (a total of 50 minutes including the time in physio).
And today we both got haircuts. We use a woman who used to run her own shop downtown, but now goes to her client’s homes to cut hair. It was good for both of us, because it was overdue and I was beginning to look rather like the proverbial “busted sofa.”
I can walk around the house without the cane, as long as I don’t have much to carry. Sometimes I even forget where I left it, and have to backtrack to find it. Stairs I can do without it, slowly, one step at a time. I don’t have the confidence to go out for a walk with Susan and Bella without it, though. Our local streets and sidewalks are too uneven, too potholed, too broken for me to feel safe on them without the cane.
I watched The Chronicles of Riddick on Sunday and Monday, and am now in the middle of The Phantom Menace, the chronological first in the Star Wars saga but the fourth in release dates. No matter how many times I’ve watched it, I cannot stomach Jar Jar Binks. I like the stories, although the whole saga is confused and often contradictory. Still, I’ve been watching the Star Wars films since they were first released in theatres, back in 1977 (the same year I bought my first computer, a TRS-80). I remember taking dates to see the first Star Wars film in the theatre, and how disappointed I was when they didn’t share my enthusiasm.
I have been playing Sniper Elite 5 on my gaming laptop; while I was not very keen on it to start, it has grown more on me, although it still lacks something that SE 4 had. I also started reading Jim Stanford’s book, Economics for Everyone: A Short Guide to the Economics of Capitalism (Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives, second edition, 2015), as well as Christopher Moore’s novel, Noir.
Doomscrolling: The deeply unqualified and incompetent DUI hire, Pete Hegseth, spent millions of US taxpayer dollars and created a security nightmare by bringing all top military officials (generals, admirals, etc.) to Washington for a bizarre, and puerile “pep talk” that, from the reports I’ve read, did nothing for military morale. During the same meeting, the dictator Trump also spoke in his usual, meandering, bullying, self-aggrandizing, threatening, and often incoherent manner. He again also brought up his threats against Canada (the 51st state lie: he wants an occupied colony he can exploit and suck dry), and to use the military against US Citizens. Canada must reject MAGA and stand firm against US aggression. The USA is in full authoritarian mode; some call it fascism, and I agree with them (based on my decades of reading about politics and history). The point of the speeches to the top brass was to prime them for using the military against American citizens, the “enemy within” as Trump called them. Fascists run the USA.
Wednesday: Started the day by going downstairs to make tea and empty the dishwasher while Susan took Bella out and then fed the cats. I even brought my mug of tea upstairs myself, without spilling any, which is the first time in six weeks I’ve been able to do that. I did 20 minutes on the bike (another first) this morning before I did the rest of my exercises. I watched Lawrence O’Donnell’s Last Word, and the opening monologues of Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel while I pedalled and exercised. I did another 15 minutes of pedalling in the afternoon, and we went for our second 800m walk today.
Went downtown again today, short visit to the bookstore. Picked up two books: one is Winesense, a general book about wine (a topic I enjoy reading about). The other is a “biography” of the fifth and latest deity in the Christian pantheon. The author explains the origin, the ads, the political uses of, and the commercialization of the Fat God (which he acknowledges is one of the two deities that rule over the Christmas season). Then we did some shopping for groceries in Loblaws before coming home when I iced my knee.
Tonight I did another 12 minutes on the bike. I had planned to do the full 15, but I simply ran out of oomph. But I managed to do 42 minutes total today. Plus all the other exercises, and the walking.
Today marks six weeks since my surgery. It is sometimes hard to remember the difficulties, the helplessness, and the pain of the first few weeks. While I still have many more weeks to full recovery, I feel reasonably confident I will do so, if I continue the exercises and physio. I am equally sure I will be doing my exercises at home for at least another five to eight months. Maybe longer.
Notes:
* There is a sequel to the movie, released in 2015: The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. While it has most of the original and superb cast, it seemed to lack the same amount of charm. The first film made me want to move to India. The second, well I found it enjoyable, but not quite as touching or funny. And as for growing old, Leon Trotsky wrote in his Diary in Exile—1935, that “Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.” One day, it seemed I was jamming Beatles’ songs at midnight in a local pub with musician friends, and the next I was hobbling around with a knee replacement, plinking on my ukulele, and going to bed at 9:30 p.m.
** I began physio with a mere 58° bend, so I have progressed, but am still short of the 120° expected of me. It is not easy pushing oneself into the pain zone, but I try as best I can. I meet with the surgeon later this week, and will know more about where everything goes from here. I expect, at least, to be told I am again able to drive, and, I hope to find out how long my physio sessions will go on for (I suspect another week or two, but it could be longer).
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